the past week has been an utter waste of time. i did study but i still feel its time wasted. anyway, i havent been to school since it re-opened. my mom was supposed to talk to my principal abt me not going but she hasnt and i havent and so i think thats just 2 weeks of absence with no reason. i think this means a lecture, a long lecture by someone at school who pretends like they have my best interest at heart when the truth it that they just want to push their bloody method down my throat because they are paid to do so.
school-->school-->more school-->dumb job i dont want-->die.
i know what i need to do and i know how to get there but just because i see a different path which suits me better, it does not mean im wrong.
when i make a decision that i feel is right, im told im too young to know what i want. but then why in the world am i asked to do an exam(at this age of supposed indecision) which if i do well means i get higher education(a better paid job i dont want) and if i dont it means i'll probably end up a nurse at a polyclinic watching kids faking sick(always the flu) to get a four dollar mc. but the point is that ive known what ive wanted since i was 10. and guess what, it hasnt changed, not even a little.
dont get me wrong, ive nothing again doing my o's. in fact i want to do it. i just dont think i should be made to go to school a month before my exam because come on, they havent helped me in fours yrs. what the hell makes them think they can do so in one month. i help myself and thats the way its always been. sigh
i dont think anyone reading this is going to get what i mean. sigh
i think i need a holiday.
i think i od-ed on death cab. yay im going to do it again.
