there are/were many evil things in the world. wars, snakes, hitler, techno. but there is this one silent evil that takes people by shock. it creeps up on you like a little bastard and you wont know its there until it attacks. im talking about none other then the evil sore throat.

sore throats are one of the evilest things in the world. i mean who likes feeling like someone is sitting and grating their throat. its bad. its beyond bad. its almost as bad as child pornography.
im sure sore throats have attacked almost everyone. sometimes they are mild sometimes they get real nasty. it all depends on the person. if you listen to paramore and bloc party or if you are bisexual, you have a higher chance of getting a horrible sore throat. people who listen to radiohead are usually safer.

there are many reasons why sore throats suck. you cant talk without feeling like your throat is being wiped with acid. this would really be a problem if you are a professional phone answerer or a professional joke teller. the only way to keep yourself safe is to destroy that paramore cd you have in your bag. go get pablo honey.
many people dont know this but sore throats actually bring out animal characteristics in people. you might find yourself with access drool or many even a tail.

you probably want to know how sore throats came about. no worries i know the story. it was passed down from generation to generation in my family.
greatgreat grandmother->great grandmother->grandmother->mother->kelly
so there was once this guy called saw bangs. he really liked soup. he used to drink soup everyday. he also liked toast. he ate toast ever so often. one day he had a craving for toast which couldnt be satisfied. it was like an itch. he ate toast continously for 4 days but he still wanted more. on the 5th day he felt something weird. something he never felt before. his throat felt strange. he went to the doctor who was left puzzled. not knowing what this strange illness was, saw was refered to the world health organisation which discovered that this was a new disease. something no one had ever seen before. since saw was the first person to have it and it was in his throat, it was called a sore throat. many people think its because your throat feels sore but they dont know how wrong they are.

the simple way to prevent sore throat is to listen to as much radiohead as possible and to spend at least 5 hours a day meditating.
good luck friends. i hope this will help someone somewhere.